What if the Farmers Wife Comes?

David started working at the age of fourteen as a "hod carrier" for plasterers. The hod carrier had the responsibility of keeping the plasterers supplied with plaster or hod, this included both mixing it and carrying it to the plasters. It didn't take long for David to realize that he wanted to be a plasterer, not a hod carrier.

Many years later, in 1980, David and his sons Donald and Wm. David started their own construction company called Dave and Sons Building and Remodeling. They ran and ad in the newspaper and a few days later were contacted about a job. A contractor was building a dairy barn and wanted them to plaster it for him.

David had not plastered in many years, and Donald and Wm. David had never plastered, so they were all a little hesitant about taking the job. They decided to go ahead because they really were in need of work. So the adventure began.

One of the things that is needed for plaster to stick to a wooden wall is chicken wire. The barn was made of block but the eaves were made of wood. In this barn, as in all dairy barns, there was the room where they milked and then a room where all of the machines were. There was a gable on this room where the machines were. About twelve to sixteen inches from the gable was a rafter. The rafter being that close really complicated putting the chicken wire on the gable.
Donald got the job of putting the wire on the gable, so he climbed the ladder and tried to install the wire. He couldn't fit into the small area and still work. So, he climbed down the ladder and told David he couldn't do it. David decided it could be done if enough effort was put into it. He climbed the ladder, took a deep breath, sucked in his stomach and squeezed in between the rafter and the gable and started to install the chicken wire.

Now, like any good carpenter, David had on his carpenter apron. This apron help his tape measure, nails, punches, and other items of use. It probably weighed about ten to fifteen pounds. I don't know if you are getting the picture yet, but when David sucked in his stomach and squeezed between the rafter and the gable, the weight of his apron caused it to slide down around his ankles and much to his dismay, it took his pants right along with it.

So David is standing eight or ten feet up on a ladder with his carpenter apron and his pants down around his ankles. He is wedged in between the gable and the rafter, so moving down the ladder is not going to happen easily. Also, there are no glass in the windows and the farm house is close enough that you can see into the barn from the house and the farmers wife is home. In a panicked voice David says, "Boys, help me get my pants up!" However, both Donald and Wm. David are laughing so hard, at this time, they are unable to do anything.

It must have been about this time that David realized how embarrassing this could be if the farmers wife were to come out of the house at this very moment. The very next thing that he hollered was, "You boys help me right now! What if the farmers wife comes out and sees me?"
In all honesty, that was the wrong thing to say. As they got the picture their father painted for them in his desperation, both young men literally fell on the floor laughing and it was several moments before they were able to rescue their stranded father from the ladder. However, they were able to do so before the farmers wife saw him.